Reasons Why I am Angry at Patrick Rothfuss: a Review of The Wise Man’s Fear

The Wise Man's FearThe following are just a few reasons for why I am angry at Patrick Rothfuss, the author of the Kingkiller Chronicles:

1. For writing a book so amazing that I couldn’t put it down, even though I tried, I actually TRIED to read this 1000+ page sucker as slow as humanly possible…..but it could not be done. I finished in three weeks. And that was only because I forced myself to take lots of breaks and to do things like work and take my dog on a walk and interact with other human beings and sleep and eat…..and was it easy to do these ordinary things when I knew I had The Wise Man’s Fear in my room, just waiting to be read? I don’t think so.

2. For creating characters (Kvothe, Denna, Tempi, Wil and Sim, Elodin, etc.) so wonderfully flawed and interesting that I wanted them to be real people–so that I could speak to them/yell at them in real life.

3. Because these characters are not real, I never got to take Elodin’s class (Introduction to Not Being a Stupid Jackass). This is extremely upsetting to me, for various reasons, but mostly because I feel that because this class is not on my transcript, I will forever feel like something’s missing in my life (just like Molly Ringwald’s boss said about that lady in the movie Pretty in Pink who never went to her prom). Elodin’s classroom antics had me laughing out loud–I need more of this in my life. Therefore, I’m extremely displeased that I’ll never get to take his class on Naming.

4. Kvothe and Denna. Denna and Kvothe. If they were real people, I would make them come to my office (cubicle) for a genuine Come to Jesus, Get Your Shit Together, Just Tell Each Other the Truth meeting. The fact that I cannot do this is slowly killing me inside.

5. I am bereft. I am forlorn. There is no set release date on the third and final book……My tears shall be endless. Of course, I want Patrick Rothfuss to write the best possible third installment that he can write. But….I want instant gratification and I want it NOW!

So basically, I am livid with Patrick Rothfuss. So put out that I SHOULDN’T spread the Gospel of Kvothe and recommend these novels to each and every person that I meet or come across (whether or not they like fantasy, have any interest in reading, are human, etc.) However, it’s too late. I already have and probably will continue to do so. If you haven’t read this series, please do yourself a favor, drop whatever you are doing, and begin to read immediately. You’ll only regret being caught up in Kvothe’s story forever….or at least until the third book comes out.

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